Have you ever have to face a failure ? Kinda feel like falling down from your little cloud ? Feeling that your dream, all your plans are broken apart ? And feeling lost ?

Like when your university application got rejected, your visa application got refused. Or when the company of your dream says ‘No’, etc. ?

Well for me, I got that recently.

And here is what I’ve done next :

1. To admit my feelings

At first, it was confusing, I admit. I couldn’t realise what it meant. It got me some times to process the news.

Next, I felt disappointed, and sad, and lost.

My story : with my husband, it has been years that we have a dream of renovating our apartment. We bought an apartment for its renovation potential and have spent nearly €10K working with an architect on the renovation plan and permit.

And we’ve got a REFUSE from the authority to renovate our apartment !

You must say that it’s just about money and material aspect, it’s no big deal ?

Well, NOT ONLY : it’s for us THE project that we wish to realize, our dream for the last 5 years, we bought the apartment mostly because of its renovation potential.

Our LIFE PLAN depends pretty much on this project : we dreamt about it as the house for our family, with our kids running around.

More important, it represents to me : an achievement. Something meaningful that I can realize, something that can remain for decades later, that can be transferred to the next generations. It makes me feel useful, and interesting.

Well, and the dream falls apart…

So, I really took time to listen to my feelings, to put words on the reasons behind them.

I also share the news with my close friends and family, even when I know that they don’t really understand how much it represents to me and my husband.

And I share my story to you, even when I know you might have some ‘judgement’.

Because, you know what, we don’t need to be ashamed of our feelings.

We don’t need to know an extreme tragedy to feel bad. We have the right to dream big and feel sorry when we fail to reach the moon !

And if people tell us ‘oh, don’t complain because many other suffering way more than you, many people are starving, lost a family, and blah blah blah, you are still lucky blah blah blah’. Well, it’s not our feelings that are wrong, its the wrong friend that we are talking to.

Choose wisely someone who is close enough, who cares enough to understand.

If you can’t find anyone, just be that person : take your time to care about your feelings !

2. To evaluate my situation

Next, I ask myself ‘what I have, what I’ve got thanks to my dream ?’

An apartment that we bought. Even if we wouldn’t be able to renovate it as we wish we still got the ownership of the apartment. And we can do something with it.

Money, as we’ve been working hard and saving money for our renovation project.

Knowledge and networks about real estate and renovation work. Indeed, we’ve been doing many researches and talking to many people about our project. Personally, I also discovered the hidden talent of my husband on architecture design.

Well, nothing is completely lost. If you miss the moon you may hit the starts, they say.

3. To define my action plan

Once that I understood my feelings and the reasons behind them, I identify my needs.

I need a home for my family, with enough space for our future kid(s). And I need an interesting and meaningful investment project.

Now that I understand my objectives, also the strength that I have and I’ve got thanks to all the works done, and the constraints of my situation, I think about all the options.

• For our case, we might review our plan and work on a smaller renovation work.
• We might sell the apartment and buy another bigger home.
• We might let our mother-in-law living in the apartment and rent somewhere else bigger to live.
• etc.

Each option has its pros and cons and its reliability. I discuss with my husband, we prioritise the options and define the action plan.

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Today, we are processing into the first steps of the action plan and discussing with our architect about different possibilities.

We still have a lot of work to do, in order to go through this challenge, but we are working on it.

If you are having a hard time, I wish you patience and courage to overcome it and turn it into opportunity 🙂